Elimy in Bali

I've only ever read two novels about Bali.  The first was Sustenance, by Simone Lazaroo.  The second was Eat, Pray, Love.  Neither prepared me.

Books like those ones want you to think that Bali is a deeply spiritual place, full of rich culture and beautiful sunsets.  And maybe it is, if you are Balinese.  But if you are Australian, Bali is about three things: Crude souvenirs, semi-nudity and bintang singlets. 

Going to Bali made me a little bit ashamed to be an Australian.  And so, for a while, I wasn't.  But every now and then, a little bit of the Australian Bali DID sneak its way into my citizenship-less Balinese experience.

Let me show you the highlights reel.

We arrived late Thursday night.  And I mean late.  I don't just mean the plane was a late flight, I mean WE GOT DIVERTED TO A WHOLE DIFFERENT ISLAND OF INDONESIA BECAUSE OBAMA WANTED TO TAKE UP THE WHOLE OF DENPASAR AIRPORT.  We're talking something like more than an extra hour circling in the air above Bali, and then being sent to Surubaya before we ran out of petrol.  At least the lady sitting next to History Boy and I was nice.  She lent us trashy magazines.  Score.

Just FYI, Obama, you're totally off the woman behind us's Facebook likes.  Ouch.

We arrived at our VERY OWN PRIVATE VILLA late Thursday night, smelling just lovely, I can assure you.

The next eight hours were spent sleeping.

Friday we went out and explored Bali.  i.e. We were introduced to the trifecter of Aussie behaviour in Bali. As we walked around Kuta, near Matahari's department store, we discovered two things.  1) If an Indonesian hears you are from Australia, they automatically assume you are from Sydney, even though  I am pretty sure the majority of Australian tourists who go to Bali are from Perth.  2) If you walk around in a couple, people offer you "good price for honeymoon couple."  I wanted to exploit this misconception.  History Boy was not so keen.

Of course, this was the day we ate the obligatory MacDonald's.  The Fast Food Gods were pleased. 

And then, we came back... to this....

You can be jealous.  It's okay.

The whole trip was pretty much punctuated by swims in this pool.  Everyday we would wake up, swim, eat, go out come back, swim, eat, go out come back swim, go out, eat, swim, sleep.  There was also a lot of showering and bubble baths.  It was nice not to have the water run out on me for once!!!  I've never been so clean as I was for those five minutes after each shower in Bali.  But do you know what we missed?  Being able to open our mouths.  Hooray for safe water!

The best part of the trip was DEFINITELY the Saturday because we went to the Safari Park.  You know.  The Safari Park.  Oh, what's that?  You haven't heard of it?  Well it's pretty much the most awesome zoo ever.  It's on about 45 hectares of land, and driving around it in the safari tour was very similar to driving around Jurassic Park with Sam Neill that one time except there were no dinosaurs.

But there were Leopards.

And owls.

And elephants....

...that sprayed everyone in the crowd at bathtime!

TIGERS...

A cheetah named Sabrina...

Mufasa...there was a Simba too and I got to cuddle him!!  Yes, I still have all my fingers.

It was VEEEEEERY hot that day, so we didn't stay a long time at the Safari Park, just long enough for some lions to make us tasty burgers for lunch and me to buy yet another stuffed animal for my collection of stuffed animals from zoos and aquariums world wide!  Can you guess what I bought???  I'll give you a hint; it has a trunk.

As for writing... well.  I DID intend to write in Bali.  I took over my compendium and my journal but aside from chronicling the day's events....

I did get my nails done though!

Are you distracted by the pretty??

Anyway, schoolies starts this week, and luckily we only overlapped with all them for about a day.  It's okay, because it is easy to spot a schoolie.  The difficult part is crossing the road to get away from them.  If you've ever seen a Bali street between two and three pm, you'll know what I mean.

Travelling tips from me?  If you take taxi's in Bali, take the light blue Bluebird taxis... we had a couple of drivers do loops of the city to get more money off of us.  Wear sunscreen.  Don't bother with lots of make up, it just melts anyway.

That's all for now folks.  I've left a lot out but you probably don't care about me walking around looking at stuff.

I'm off to catch up about 8000 words for Nanowrimo by the end of the day.  Have a good one.  Any questions, hit me up in the comments.